What a Funk

I’ve been in a really strange funk this week. I’ve been extremely depressed, unable to write, and been drinking tea and cleaning the house like... well, crazy. The house isn’t clean completely; I don’t have that much energy, but I’ve been drinking so much green tea and licorice tea that I think it’s making me sick. On top of that, I was watching my favorite anime Fruits Basket the night before my ‘funk’ and am now stuck in ‘anime zone’. I thought the show might have been the basis of my ‘funk’ so I haven’t watched any of it for over 5 days! It hasn’t helped, I only want to watch it more, so I just might tonight... that is, after the Sunday line up (Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, SmallsVill and others).

*sigh* Maybe I’m just getting old too fast. I found my first gray hair last week, I’ll turn 25 in a few months, and I haven’t done anything substantial my whole life. I’ve been working on my brother (manga/anime artist of the future) but he doesn’t want to be pushed, and I don’t want to push him. But I don’t want him to feel like I do, like I’ve wasted the last 6 years. The anime helps. It’s funny, inspiring, and uplifting (even though it makes me wish I was a 16 year old girl again, ^_^ )

I know, I shouldn’t be anime and manga surfing, or watching TV, but hey, I can’t write, I suck at drawing (so much for my hopes of ever writing that manga), what else is there to do?

Ok, ok, I know. Get writing. Write through the funk. Just do it. I will, starting tomorrow. Up at 7:30. Writing from 8:30 straight till noon with only 5 min brakes every hour. I need more discipline if I want to get something, anything, finished and I hope fallowing this plan will work. I’ve started making a list of what I need for my garden, so working in it should help with all future funks. If not, I’ll have an even longer list of manga to buy, and an even longer list of anime to rent.

To jump start my writing, I’ve decided, on top of writing my short stories, to write ‘fan fiction’. No, no. It’s not what you think. I’m going to write fan fiction for art. I’ve seen so many wonderful pieces of art over the past 5 days that words for them just... flow. Yes, I know, many artists have ideas behind all their work, but I don’t think they’ll mind if I ‘barrow’ their picture for inspiration. I’m not planning on steeling their art, using it or saying it’s mine. I just want to look at all the pretty pictures while I type. Hum... you know, one of those wide screen monitors would be nice for that. I could have the picture open and just type and stare. *sigh* maybe one of these days.


Some great sites I’ve found while in my ‘funk’:

http://www.hyung-taekim.org/
http://www.raingate.net/
http://www.dlanham.com/
http://www.demonlab.net/
http://www.tokyopop.com/
http://www.writenews.com/2005/072905_darkhorse_harlequin.htm

A Humble Goodbye

For the past several months (well, only one month shy of a year) my family has been taking care of a little kitten named Emma. Emma was born with no tail, a trait of the Manx cat. Because of this trait - she had no tail, not even a stub - Emma had bladder problems. When we took Emma to the vet, we also found out that she had coccidia, a trait often seen in animals that have been kept in small, unlearned cages even though her space was cleaned daily.

After several trips to the vet, three months in a diaper, and most of her life confined - Emma could not wonder the house because she ‘leaked’ - as well as her daily dose of medication, Emma passed away Monday evening. She had started to turn the night before, her left hind leg grew slightly stiff and her back side became raw and sore. We moved her into a comfortable area, with an extra soft bed and some special food. The next morning she was worse. Her hind leg had grown limp and her backend was spotted with blood. We made and appointment with the vet for 4:00 pm and waited. As the day grew, Emma grew worse. We left for the vet early, but on our way I noticed Emma’s eyes dilate. Having cared for many, many cats and kittens, I knew what this meant. As we rushed into the vet, Emma had a small seizure. Another sign I was familiar with and not happy to see. We waited to see the vet for over 10 minutes, and by the time we saw the vet, dear Emma had passed. The vet suggested that Emma either had a heart attack or one of her organs failed.

We brought her home and put her to rest with a handful of wiled California poppy seeds as her grave marker. A fitting one for such a playful little kitten.

Emma was one of the spokes kitties to my mother’s web site: DobbyCat.com. With Emma’s help, we where able to fix 3 cats, 1 dog, and are soon to see one cat’s teeth fixed. Thank you Emma for the laughter and the hope. Because of you, many cats and dogs will live a little happier.

~Amber Jennell

Another Monday

Well, it's Monday again and I'm posting on time. Life has been fairly dull around here. The weather is wonderful (around 77 F all last week and 73 F this week) so I've been doing some housework. Now the house looks wonderful so I should be able to write guilt-free all this week; something I really need to do since I have been remiss and written less than 300 words all month.

I plan on writing out two synopses this week, one for ADE and one for my Luna. Maybe. I'm not sure exactly which I would aim to finish first: my historical or my fantasy. I know the fantasy is currently popular, but so is the historical, especially with Pride and Prejudice coming out on video soon (I can not wait to see it!!). Well, they aren't so bad. Perhaps I'll write them both out and have my critique partner read them over and give me her ideas.

Now, since I don't have anything more to add, I'm off to write.
Happy Writing,
Amber





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Procrastination is my Middle Name

Procrastination is my middle name, though I am beginning to think it should have been my first. It has been over two weeks since I actually sat down at the computer (or even at my desk with simple pen and paper) and wrote. I do not have the right to use the excuse “I’ve been busy” because I haven’t. My web site has slowed to a trickle. There have been no new banners, no site designs, nothing and I’ve grown a little desperate to the extent that I’ve lowered my prices again. There doesn’t seem to be much of a need for web designers right now, unless they are part of the larger review community. I guess this just means I’ll not make it in the web design community.

Well, that means I need to write. And write I will! ADE is up to 12,000 + words. I have stopped working on the outline for my LUNA since it was taking way to long and I was loosing focus. I’m sorry, but I’m not a planer, I’m a pantser. I am 1,500 words shy of finishing my short story. This one has taken me so long to finish it’s amazing; I can’t wait until it’s completed and sent out!

That's it, now I’m off. A friend of mine (Aline De Chevigny) is having an author chat over at the Coffee time Romance’s message board. (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/karendevinkaren/) I also need to get writing. I would rather have my books finished sooner than latter.

Happy Writing,
Amber